Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the lands.

Our patients lay bedbound

We had restrained their hands

The pressors were running

Right into their veins.

In hopes that we could

Send some blood to their brains

The vents that we used

Volume cycled, some jets.

We tried to deliver

Oxygen as per ARDSNet.

Some patients got steroids

While others got lytics.

Whatever we gave

We knew there be critics.

I walked through the unit

I checked vitals and PEEP.

Soon things became quiet

Spare the occasional beep.

Yet as midnight approached

Things began to get stable.

So I went to my laptap

That was on my desk table

I searched through my Outlook

Read some emails and spam.

I deleted so many

So I could free up some RAM.

Yet amidst all this clutter

This cyberspace clatter.

Were CCM-L mailings

A most eclectic chatter.

They came from all over

From far and from near.

Most posts are quite global

And worldly, thats clear

They covered all topics

Across a wide range.

Some posts were amazing

But many were strange.

There are threads about movies

And organ donations

We even have posts

About peoples vacations

From music to travel

To electronic wares.

And the occasional musing

About critical care.

The list will post papers

About sepsis and steroids

But amidst these citations

Come Vics iffy factoids

The posters and lurkers

From so many lands

The list is diverse

And truly so grand

Theres Claudia from Rio

So charming, Im smitten.

Theres the surgeon Prasanna

And his hutch of dead kittens.

Theres Hodgson in Durban

Theres Holmes now in Holland

Carolina has Marquo

Adelaide has Chris Cotton

In Philly theres Dobkin

Hes now a CQI guru.

Theres Welkin and Harper

And Kofke and Fred Wu.

In Brissy theres Lipman

Italy has Gemma

Theres a most noted Batchelor

In Newcastle named Anna.

At any big meeting

Theyll be lurkers to greet

From Urrutia to Kuiper

And my Kiwi-bro Streat

Theres Farhad in Mumbai

Whos become oh so slim

Theres Oregons own Gabi

And her dear husband Jim

In Sydney theres Seppalt

Who shares a name with a wine

In Greece theres Liolios

Whos always on line

In Springfield theres Leo

Our crazed neocon

He bikes now like Gil Ross

Hey dudes please, hang on.

Theres Fink and theres Woodcook

Morgan writes bout the wild.

In Delaware theres Lamb

And his gorgeous new child

Theres HonoluLou Brusco

The SCCM chair

Hes praying folks fly

Eleven hours by air.

There Wojcieck and Moulront

And the Brainmeister Bleck

Theres Alving and Setlur

And of course theres Joe Lex

But who keeps the list humming

With his charm and his wit.

Is an young aging rocker

Saint Crippen from Pitt

With his motor cross bike

That he rides far from home

He keeps us all posted

From his brand new iPhone

He turned sixty-four

He might be an old geezer.

But hes a long way away

From Mike Darwins Freezer.

All day and all night

In fact twenty-four seven

He keeps the list going

Thanks to him, thank heavens

From his unit at Pitt

To his travels abroad

Hes our own Fearless Leader

He deserves loud applaud

He writes us about ethics

And about musical vibes.

Hell also post rabid

Anti-Hillary diatribes.

But still we all love him

We need him, we do.

His energys amazing

His dedications true

On Mattox and Whetstine

On Fields, Soon and Larson.

On Moncur and Brahma

On Errington Thompson.

On Chacko and Ronnie

On DeWitt and Green

Hey Bowman and Burrows

And Gords stat machine

On McCartney on Hronik

On Baltzell, Wax, Richey

Go Axel and Aucoin

Calvo, Bander, and Thornily

Hey Kleinpull and Marek

Shapiro and Yaghi

Dave Walker, stay healthy

And please all, be happy

Hey Spronk, Blythe and Leitl

Go Zerfoss , Avi, Veerapan

Theres Hollenberg from Jersey

Whos just south of Jeff Hammond

In France theres Sarkozy

In Australia theres Rudd

But here in the US

Were all Bushed with our dud

On Clinton, yea Obama

On Rudy, and Mitt

Send these two verses to Med-Events

Mea culpa, oh shit.

With the holiday upon us

A time for some cheer

I hope that we all

Have a peaceful new year

For me, Im quite happy

I feel challenged and great

My sons still terrific

Hes my hero, pal, and mate.

Well folks now relax

And exhale, yes thats right

Cause this poems almost over

And the ends soon in sight.

So in the remaining few lines

I extend all my best

For a good healthy year

Filled with joy, love, and zest

And so in this last stanza

As this day turns to night.

Peace on Earth, and goodwill

And to all, much delight.